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A Proposed General Rule about Pictures of Naked People

fishingboatproceeds:

fishingboatproceeds:

I mean, I’m not saying that we can enforce this as law or anything. I also might be wrong about this. But:

Just as a general rule, I feel like we should not look at pictures of the breasts or genitalia of people who would rather we not look at pictures of their breasts or genitalia.

As a corollary to that general rule, I would add that I don’t see anything wrong with looking at pictures of breasts or genitalia of people who have invited us to do so. There seem to be plenty such pictures for us to get a reasonably good grasp of, like, the diversity of unclothed human anatomy without having to look at people who wish we wouldn’t.

This seems pretty straightforward to me. Yes, the photographer(s) who photographed Kate Middleton’s grainy distant breasts were violating her privacy. But so do people who choose to look at those pictures.

So maybe we can just agree not to? And this goes not only for princesses, I would argue, but also for people who send things to their romantic partners, who turn out to be jerks and release those photos publicly. Or people whose phones are hacked. etc.

In this world where most every curiosity can be satiated, it seems to me genuinely heroic to resist the urge to look at everything that can be seen, and instead to respect the wishes of those who feel violated or hurt by the availability of images they wish were private.

Seemed a good day to reblog this.

ungyo:

best-of-funny:

X 

#why is this on best of funny #this is legitimately powerful #this is a reminder that we can fight back against unfair systems #technology has empowered us #by providing witnesses #the world is watching #we can force consequences on our oppressors now #in a way that wasn’t possible even twenty years ago #we don’t have to wait for the media #we don’t have to convince the media #we can be the media #les amis de l’abaissés (@grassthatchedhut)

edwardspoonhands:

allthingslinguistic:

xkcd: Wikipedia article titles with the right syllable stress pattern to be sung to the tune of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song. (Here’s the song, for reference.)

All of these titles are examples of trochaic tetrameter, which is one of the most common English meters (a trochee is a foot consisting of STRONG-weak and tetrameter is four feet per line). Another example is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, although that has a deficient last foot, but you can sing any of these titles to that tune as well if you just double the last note.

Trochaic tetrameter creates a strong feeling of sing-song “poem-ness” in English. Most Shakespearean characters, for example, speak in iambic pentameter (weak-STRONG, five feet per line), which sounds more natural, but a few speak in trochaic tetrameter for dramatic effect. For example, MacBeth and Lady MacBeth speak in iambic pentameter, which gives the effect of talking normally: 

Methought I heard a voice cry “Sleep no more!
Macbeth does murder sleep,” the innocent sleep,
Sleep that knits up the ravell’d sleave of care,

Out, damned spot! out, I say!—One: two: why,
then, ‘tis time to do’t.—Hell is murky!—Fie, my
lord, fie! a soldier, and afeard? What need we
fear who knows it, when none can call our power
to account?—Yet who would have thought the old
man to have had so much blood in him?

But the witches speak in trochaic tetrameter, which makes them seem like they’re delivering an incantation: 

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

Fair is foul, and foul is fair

Previous xkcd on poetry: metrical foot fetish, ballad meter, trochaic fixation. Language Log also has a long, interesting post on meter

My favorite thing about this is picturing all of the people sitting alone in their homes singing “SAN DIEGO CITY COUNCIL!” to the tune of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

cbcdiversity:

The Dear Book Publishers series is a showcase of letters written by 5th graders from Dothan Brook School. These students were tasked with looking at the diversity in their school library’s picture book collection along with the race of children featured on Kindergarten Second Step cards. Reacting to what they had learned, the students wrote letters to book publishers, the Vermont Agency of Education, the school principal, and the district superintendent. During the month of August, CBC Diversity will showcase all of the letters created by the Dothan Brook School’s 5th grade class.

On the whole, good and great fiction is not written by beautiful people who feel successful. It’s written by the person who is most overlooked, all their life, and who understands things about the human condition which is very different from that of the experience of the twenty-five year old part-time model. Every author has a professional deformity – club feet, an uncomfortable religious inheritance, short stature, or incurable alcoholism, take your pick. Writers are always outsiders, and our nearest kindred isn’t someone in Hollywood but the bag-lady who rootles through dustbins muttering to herself.
Amanda Craig (via bookoisseur)

(Source: delgrosso)

dontbeabrat:

conniecann:

Last words of unarmed black youth gunned down by law enforcement. "There are reasons why white gun’s rights activists can walk into a Chipotle restaurant with assault rifles and be seen as gauche nuisances while unarmed black men are killed for reaching for their wallets or cell phones, or carrying children’s toys. Guns aren’t for black people, either.”from America is Not For Black People
“…if you live your whole life and then die without making a purposeful choice to become a white ally then American racism becomes your legacy.”
from Becoming a White Ally to Black People in the Aftermath of the Michael Brown Murder

This hurts me so much
Zoom Info
dontbeabrat:

conniecann:

Last words of unarmed black youth gunned down by law enforcement. "There are reasons why white gun’s rights activists can walk into a Chipotle restaurant with assault rifles and be seen as gauche nuisances while unarmed black men are killed for reaching for their wallets or cell phones, or carrying children’s toys. Guns aren’t for black people, either.”from America is Not For Black People
“…if you live your whole life and then die without making a purposeful choice to become a white ally then American racism becomes your legacy.”
from Becoming a White Ally to Black People in the Aftermath of the Michael Brown Murder

This hurts me so much
Zoom Info
dontbeabrat:

conniecann:

Last words of unarmed black youth gunned down by law enforcement. "There are reasons why white gun’s rights activists can walk into a Chipotle restaurant with assault rifles and be seen as gauche nuisances while unarmed black men are killed for reaching for their wallets or cell phones, or carrying children’s toys. Guns aren’t for black people, either.”from America is Not For Black People
“…if you live your whole life and then die without making a purposeful choice to become a white ally then American racism becomes your legacy.”
from Becoming a White Ally to Black People in the Aftermath of the Michael Brown Murder

This hurts me so much
Zoom Info
dontbeabrat:

conniecann:

Last words of unarmed black youth gunned down by law enforcement. "There are reasons why white gun’s rights activists can walk into a Chipotle restaurant with assault rifles and be seen as gauche nuisances while unarmed black men are killed for reaching for their wallets or cell phones, or carrying children’s toys. Guns aren’t for black people, either.”from America is Not For Black People
“…if you live your whole life and then die without making a purposeful choice to become a white ally then American racism becomes your legacy.”
from Becoming a White Ally to Black People in the Aftermath of the Michael Brown Murder

This hurts me so much
Zoom Info
dontbeabrat:

conniecann:

Last words of unarmed black youth gunned down by law enforcement. "There are reasons why white gun’s rights activists can walk into a Chipotle restaurant with assault rifles and be seen as gauche nuisances while unarmed black men are killed for reaching for their wallets or cell phones, or carrying children’s toys. Guns aren’t for black people, either.”from America is Not For Black People
“…if you live your whole life and then die without making a purposeful choice to become a white ally then American racism becomes your legacy.”
from Becoming a White Ally to Black People in the Aftermath of the Michael Brown Murder

This hurts me so much
Zoom Info

dontbeabrat:

conniecann:

Last words of unarmed black youth gunned down by law enforcement. 

"There are reasons why white gun’s rights activists can walk into a Chipotle restaurant with assault rifles and be seen as gauche nuisances while unarmed black men are killed for reaching for their wallets or cell phones, or carrying children’s toys. Guns aren’t for black people, either.”

from America is Not For Black People

if you live your whole life and then die without making a purposeful choice to become a white ally then American racism becomes your legacy.

from Becoming a White Ally to Black People in the Aftermath of the Michael Brown Murder

This hurts me so much

internal-acceptance-movement:

HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AFTER A LAPSE

1. Recognize that lapsing is a normal part of recovery. 

I don’t say that to justify lapsing or use as a cop out when things get difficult. I say it as a reminder that your recovery doesn’t have to be perfect in order to produce results. That said, no one’s recovery is perfect. Everyone has set backs and struggles. Everyone makes mistakes, messes up, and reverts to old behaviors — not because they’re weak or incapable, but because recovery is really, really difficult. Your behaviors helped you cope with trauma and incredible emotional pain. They allowed you to numb out and they kept you afloat when you felt like you were drowning. Letting go of something that helped you survive for so long is not easy. And it doesn’t happen over the course of a few days or months. It’s terrifying, painful, incredibly challenging, and it takes time. So be compassionate with yourself and your process. You’re doing the best you can to fight this and recover and it’s all you can ask of yourself. 

2. Use the lapse as a learning experience. 

You can’t go back in time and change the fact that you lapsed, but you can choose how you respond to it. You can wallow in self-pity, beat yourself up, and use what happened as an excuse to continue using behaviors. Or you can choose to use what happened as a learning experience. You can look at the lapse as an opportunity to collect important information about what triggers you to use behaviors and what you need in the moment to avoid a future lapse. 

3. Be curious.

Judging yourself for having a lapse doesn’t get you anywhere. It makes you feel worse and it keeps you stuck. Instead of feeding the cycle of self-hatred, treat yourself with compassionate curiosity and start asking questions:

What need did you have in the moment that wasn’t being met? Were you feeling lonely? Sad? Depressed? Angry? Hurt? Disappointed? Rejected? Invisible? Inadequate? When you turned to behaviors to cope, what were you really looking for? Did you need to feel safe? Did you need a way to express your feelings? Did you need to feel seen and heard? Did you need a distraction? Comfort? Control? How could you have gotten that need met in a non self-destructive way? And how can you take care of yourself in the future when these triggers come up again?

You don’t have to know the answer to all of these questions right now, but it’s important to start exploring and being curious.

4. Treat yourself like you would a friend.

If you had a friend or loved one who lapsed, you wouldn’t put them down. You wouldn’t call them a failure. You wouldn’t see them as worthless. And you wouldn’t discount all the progress they had made. You would treat them with kindness and compassion. You would give them a hug, remind them of how far they’ve come, and reassure them that just because they had one lapse doesn’t mean they can’t turn things around and get back on track. 

Well, you’re not an exception. You deserve to be treated with the same forgiveness and love you would so willingly give to anyone else who was struggling. So when your self-hating thoughts get loud and tell you that you’re a failure for lapsing, challenge them. And if in the moment it’s difficult to be nice to yourself, think of what you would say to someone you care about and apply those positive counters to your own thoughts. 

5. Reach out.

Don’t isolate and withdraw. It may feel safer, but it only perpetuates the pain you feel and keeps you stuck. In order to get back on track, you have to talk about what happened. You have to be honest with yourself and your support network. You have to give yourself permission to ask for help, use your voice, and make your needs known. Keeping secrets keeps us sick. If we want to heal, we have to break the silence. 

6. Get extra support.

If you’re struggling, you deserve to ask for help. Denying yourself extra support when things start going down hill isn’t noble or self-sacrificing. It’s self-destruction, and it’s a sure-fire way to put yourself at risk for another lapse. There is nothing shameful about asking for more help. It doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you a disappointment. And it doesn’t make you a burden. It makes you someone with the courage to be honest and the strength to make recovery a priority. It makes you determined and admirable and brave. It’s self-care and in order to get back on track and heal, it’s imperative

7. Focus on progress, not perfection. 

One lapse does NOT discount all of the days you went without using behaviors. It doesn’t make you weak or incapable or inadequate. It doesn’t make you a failure or erase your progress, and it definitely doesn’t mean you can’t get better. All a lapse means is that you were hurting so deeply and didn’t know how else to cope. It was a bad decision, but it doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. The lapse was just a bump in your road to recovery, but it doesn’t mean you have to start all over. You’re just continuing your journey right where you left off. So don’t give up. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe, be patient, and trust that as long as you keep pushing forward, reaching out for help, and picking yourself back up, no matter how many times you lapse, you can and will recover.

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